Comic Thoughts: Berserk
I finished reading the Berserk series, a manga that spans 41 volumes released over 30 years.
I'd tried reading the series several times in the past but never got past volume 3 -- I decided give it
another go now that the author passed away and the series is therefore essentially "finished".
It gets SO much better after volume 3.
It's a lot. The series is drenched in the 80's/90's sex & hyper-violence that seems to have
died out in the medium in recent years.
I don't think I'd be comfortable openly recommending the series to everyone I know, as there's a lot of
problematic content in there some might be upset by,
but there's certainly something special about the series. There's a reason it's inspired so many other works
and characters. It's got teeth.
The author manages to paint this bleak work full of pain, and fills it with some seriously horrific and
grotesque scenes. Body horror, psychological horror and
sexual horror are all leveraged here. This is definitely done partially for shock value, but it's also to
build up the the sense of dread and evil baked into the story's world.
The author wants things to feel hopeless and irredeemable as set up for later events.
In between the scenes of hyper-violent gore-soaked action and more cartoon nipples than entirely necessary the
series contemplates the values and costs of friendship, the ability
to depend on others weaker than one's self, and Guts' conflicting driving forces and goals. The comic relief
and emotional scenes contrasted against the brutal backdrop
makes it easy to love supporting characters in both the "Golden Age" and "Millenium Falcon" arcs. This also
sets the stage for one of the most brutal betrayals I've read in any medium
which kicks off the plotline for the rest of the series.
Guts as a character is interesting -- a gentle soul (bear with me) forged by continuous cruelties into a
monster. His lack of trust runs deep, making scenes where
he opens up to other characters all the more powerful. By the Conviction Arc we see and understand a man
driven by self-destructive fury,
an unstoppable force of heavy steel and violence who in the following arc needs to protect a fragile thing,
having only said steel and violence
as his tools.
Guts is a thoroughly broken man (at points he converses with a black dog within him) who must slowly re-learn
how to rely on the people around him, and in turn be reliable.
Though he fears (literally) hurting them, he does eventually finally let his guard down to his rag-tag band of
misfits. This is difficult
for him -- letting his guard down has hurt him so many times before, and his internal struggle plays out in
some of the most consistent and intricate
artwork I've seen in a manga series.
The story itself is fantastic and sucks you in once you're into the Golden Age arc. It makes for an
unforgettable journey that though left incomplete,
ends on a satisfactory note while still bringing up many thought-provoking possibilities. It would have been a
tragedy to leave it at volume 40!
The rest of the story and implications of the final panel is, for now, left to the imaginations of decades of
fans. I find myself relived,
to be honest, as I'm sure had the story continued, Guts would be forced to survive more tragedies still for
the sake of the plot.
For now, at least, the poor tortured soul can rest, restless as he may be.
Thoughts: Side Gigs
I've been using up some lieu time I earned at work to do some side-gig work for a bit of extra cash lately,
and I learned a couple things in the process:
- The concept of using lieu time I earned working overtime to take time off the job I worked overtime for to
do a different job is hilarious to me
- I don't make enough money, spend too much, or things have become too expensive. I suspect a combination of
all three (but maybe most heavily the second one...)
- I can get way more done on a side-project during a single 8-hour work day than I could with 20
days' worth of weekend/after-work effort
The last point is really sticking with me -- I highly value hobby-time, but only ever give myself
evening/weekend time to tackle my hobbies.
This means my side-projects need to compete with chores, family time, and social events, all of which usually
take priority.
Once this side-gig is up, I need to find a way to start working in a full work-day each week (or every other
week) during normal work hours where
I can tackle my more time-consuming side-projects or even just eat through my ever-growing backlog of books
and games.
Oh shit, American politicians also seem to be taking too many hints from dystopian literature.
Someone should really talk to these people.
I swear to god these tech CEOs are reading dystopian cyberpunk novels as if they're instruction booklets.
Maybe if we start writing decent utopian solarpunk stories now the next generation of tech
CEOs won't be trying to jam the lower class into
VR headsets to spend their jobless days vying for crypto assets to brag about on hypergram while their vitals
and sweat samples are mined for sellable data.
Thoughts: Collision Conference
I went to the opening day of "Collision Conference 2022"; I had a free ticket and it was labelled as
a tech conference so I was excited to meet some fellow nerds.
Things I learned:
- It doesn't matter if crypto crashes, so long as the applications of crypto continue to be useful
- No aforementioned useful applications were brought forward
- "Leaders" in tech seem to think they have important ideas to share, yet not a whole lot of value was said
in any talk I attended
- There's a lot of problems with ethics in tech, and people seem more eager to complain about them than
offer actionable ideas on how to solve them
- Jimmy Wales is capable of making a public appearance without asking the audience for a small contribution
to Wikipedia
- The goal for a tech startup is to become a viral unicorn,
(and here's some vague tips for getting there based on the one time it happened to us!)
It felt like browsing twitter but everyone was in-person; I left more jaded than I went in.
The floor was fun, however! For every 4 new registered crypto market apps there was someone there to
legitimately just sell their product or make their pitch.
A whole lot of excited young people that were super friendly and seemed to be having a great time. I also
managed to have some interesting conversations with
a few older developers working on philanthropic or passion projects which was super refreshing after the
soulless talks.
If I were someone with a startup or marketable idea, I'm sure this conference would have held a lot of value
with so many
big names were there and chance to interface with them. As a critical observer without much skin in the game
it was just a confirmation of
the vapidity of the industry. (Not the geniuses powering the industry, but the companies themselves).
Takeaway: Tech really feels quite rotten and scummy, where it used to feel shiny and bold and
empowering. (Not exactly a revelation).
I know that a lot of it is me turning into an old cynical greybeard, but I feel that as tech has grown to
power it's become just as evil and self-satisfied as the non-tech giants before it.
I'm not surprised, but disappointed; as dour as I seem I really was hoping for a hopeful message or two in all
of this.
That said, there's still clearly very passionate developers and designers and product companies out there
shining in the dark, like an ecosystem of happy
wildlife co-existing in a massive landfill. They deserve to live in a forest instead of a dump, but perhaps
with food and shelter so plentiful in the trash
there's no incentive to change the way things are.
Thoughts: Keeping Notes
I've recently taken to keeping notes of all the media I consume that contains storylines or concepts
I want to remember.
My process is as follows:
- Consume media only in amounts small enough to remember stuff clearly. (1 hour audiobook or a few
chapters reading)
- Take point-form notes of plot and ideas in a written physical journal (I use little journals,
and am partial to the Traveler's Notebooks)
- At a later time (usually when I fill out a notebook) move these notes to a long-term digital
journal. At this time I'll usually also do retrospective or a small review of the media in
question.
This has had a lot of benefits! I'm spending more time thinking about the media I consume, and try to
take smaller bites of media so I don't over-saturate my memory.
With such big backlogs, I can't be spending all my time re-experiencing things, and I'm finding this
process has helped greatly reduce backlog anxiety for me, while increasing my patience and enjoyment
with the media I consume.
I'm in love with redbean (v2 just released!) + fullmoon. Both of these
developers are wildly talented.
I need to get better at Lua!
Book Thoughts: Perhaps the Stars
Finished "Perhaps the Stars", the last book in the "Terra Ignotia" tetralogy by Ada Palmer; what a
wild ride that whole series was!
I enjoyed the first two books significantly more than the second two, but the series was well worth
finishing.
The first book convinced me to read a collection of Voltaire's short stories, now I feel a strong
urge to try the Iliad...
I buy domain names like I buy fancy notebooks.
Destined to sit forever unused on a shelf.
Wouldn't want to waste them on something stupid, after all.
Very impressed with how quickly one can set up a static site on Netlify.
