I finished Never Let me Go [Full Plot Spoilers Ahead] over the weekend, and holy shit what a melancholy novel.

The story covers the life of Kathy H, a student at a fancy school for clones who are harvested for organs as young adults. You start suspecting this early on, so it doesn't come as a surprise when it's confirmed -- neither to the students nor to the reader.

That seems to be one of the running themes in the book -- inevitability. Much of the story's structure follows the pattern of:

  1. Narrator says or implies some conclusion or plot element
  2. Story backtracks to fill in the details that lead up to said conclusion
  3. Conclusion happens and leads to next thing

This same pattern underlies the story as a whole -- we're told in the very start of the novel that Kathy's cared for (past tense) her two friends as they donated organs, and that she, too, will soon start donating. Then we fill the details that lead up to that point at the very end of the novel.

Considering the author got a nobel prize in literature we can assume there's a lot more going on here -- the story touches on many topics: the dangers of science unchecked, memory, regret, caste systems -- lots of stuff to chew on. I'm not a proper literary analyst so I'm going to just focus on the bits that resonated with me and the interesting writing style.

The story is masterfully written, with the author spinning lots of offshoot threads -- as one would when narrating a deep-dive into childhood memories -- but always managing to loop back around and tie off those threads later. Every little tangent has a resolution. For example:

  • Telling a story from young childhood, bring up forest by the school that they found intimidating
  • Emphasize how intimidating the forest was on a tangent, how they once punished a girl by forcing her to look out the window at the forest for a long time
  • Later on in the story, tell of how a girl in class made everybody mad by asking the wrong kinds of questions pertaining to the donor program
  • Reveal that this was the girl that they forced to look at the forest, and that this was why

The book is full of this kind of setup, and it works really well for the tone and the "memory recall" narration style. When the tie-in comes around, it almost feels like the memory is your own -- you're in on the secret, you get the inside reference. At the same time it solves the tiny mystery of "who was the girl they did this to and why?"

The pattern pushes the story through Kathy's memories as she jumps backs and forth between periods in her life, explaining the big events by building up to them with the small. The big events are rarely that big in the grand scheme of things, but for these second-class organ donors they feel big. A trip to Norfolk with friends, a later trip with those friends are dead to a rotting beached boat. A big falling out between friends. These are the events that define Kathy and her friends' lives.

That's where the melancholy settles in. A story about a short and quiet life, filled with small events that feel big. Kathy and her peers simply accepted their places -- they loved, and argued over petty things and made memories both good and bad. They had small collections and simple dreams. They are entirely unable to touch the world outside of their bubbles, though they are not physically constrained in any way, and all their biggest milestones end so quietly. The end of their childhoods, the ends of their trip(s), the ends of their relationships, the ends of their lives. All of these things happen with very little fanfare and are remembered with a muted sadness, but not sorrow.

I think that's the part that killed me. Kathy remembers all of this so fondly, while she was afforded so few opportunities. It's easy to imagine the kind of life she could have had and cherished in other circumstances, yet she doesn't, or can't, even consider the possibility. All she ever fights for is a chance for a few more years, and even that is extinguished without a fuss.

I personally took away an underlying message to cherish the time you have, and appreciate the freedoms afforded you. Death is inevitable to everyone, and no matter how fondly the characters recalled their lives, they all had regrets. They all took too long to do the things they should have done and lost their chances. You don't get a deferral in life, and while we can cling to our memories, we should make sure to take the time to make new ones. Do the important things we are able to do while we're able to them.


Anyways, good book. Gave me lots to think about, and new perspectives on writing techniques. I think I'm going to go with something a little lighter next -- the first of Sanderson's KickStarter books is out and sounds very much like a pallette cleanser.